venting

so today started out like all my other work days..... talking to self righteous bigots!

I've never considered myself to be racist in any way but I'm beginning to wonder what happened to me because lately I'm finding that I am racist to a point. I'm not like the "normal" racist as I do have many friends that are of other races and nationalities, I'm just finding that I really despise people that think they know it all and honestly have no common sense! and most of them are in Texas and are black.

I know this post could upset some of you and I'm sorry if it does but these are my opinions and you don't have to read further...

now that the disclaimer is done.. on with the venting.

I had one customer today that was just plan stupid! she has and account with us and it was an email only account well she wanted to reopen the dial in account.(yes people still buy dial up service) so while going thru the process she asked "am I going to be charged double since I have a email only account with you?" It's a valid question and I answered it with "no ma'am the email will be in with the dial in account"
so then she starts to argue with me about being double charged. at this point I'm thinking "oh great I've got another nut job customer!". so after 3 attempts to explain this to her she says "let's just get on with this because everyone in the morning has a bad attitude and I'm not in the mood for it." i'm thinking.."then, why in the hell did you call in the morning?"NO COMMON SENSE AT ALL!!!!

I was actually having a great morning until she called! I just have not patience anymore with these people! it's not just the African-American people it's all of the stupid, no common sense, back woods, mother lovin', idiots!

I don't want to feel this way I just can't turn it off!

7/24/10 - Missing a dear friend

I'm missing a dear friend Debbie LaRue. she passed away yesterday 7/23/10 at 5:50pm. She leaves behind a 10 month old son and a wonderful husband.
She was a great friend and will be missed dearly. I'm praying for her friends and family. we all are going to need all the support we can get at this time.
I sometimes wonder if more could have been done or if she could have fought more to live but I know she was in sever pain and discomfort. she only knew she had the cancer since around feb. 2010. it was in stage 4 already and the doctors didnt have much hope. it was very aggressive.

she will always be in my heart.

I love you debbie!!

6.20.10

Hello all.....

so another day is upon us and it's father's day, I hope everyone has a safe and fun day with their families.

I have been down again, I fell at work on Tuesday, dislocated my knee and sprained my ankle again. I have been through this before and it still hurts like hell.
I'm planning on going out to the in-laws today to enjoy this holiday with them, but again it's going to be a somber one as I'm missing my dad. The holidays I think are the worse for me, I use to call my parents at least once a week, sometimes less due to work and life in general. I know I didn't talk to them as much as I would have liked to or as much as some of you do, but I miss them non the less.
Losing a parent, sibling, or extended family member is always so tough to deal with. I just hope that on this holiday you take time to remember and honor those that you have lost or just lost contact with.

xoxoxo
~Mel

Mother's Day Hell.... 5-8-10

Hello all..... well I'm officially in a foul mood with mother's day right around the corner... I'm missing my mom a LOT!!! I've had a really hard time with this holiday since 1999 and it just gets harder every year. maybe one of these years I can have some good luck around this holiday....

I hope everyone has a happy and safe holiday!

4/20/10 - Trying to make it the best day possible....

So everyday I start off the day thinking about my kids, my best friend who's also my husband, and how I can make this day the best it can be. I seldom reach that goal but I do try. So many of our family, neighbors and friends have a hard time seeing the beauty in each day due to the stress and problems in their lives. I often also wonder how I can personally help each and everyone of them, I soon realized it was not possible, but I still try.

I have one friend that has recently gotten some really bad news medically and I'm not sure how to help. I know I need to be there as a friend for her but I don't know what to say to her, she doesn't want to talk about the problems she is having, she wants a distraction from it and I totally understand that. I have tried multiple times to reach her and get her out of the house to try to help her over this hurdle but she doesn't answer the phone and she just blows me off. I'm at the end of the rope here, I'll be there if she needs me but maybe she just needs time to figure things out on her own even though that's not what she is saying.

I look at my life and I see that I have a wonderful but not perfect life. I have many medical problems, I have arguments with my husband and I didn't raise my children like I wish I had been able to do. I am in such a better place than I use to be in. I was married to a man that wasn't a man at all, he drank, cheated, and didn't work much. I went through a horrible time losing my children, but then I met the most wonderful person in the world, my glorious husband David! He helped show me that even though I am having a rough time there is life after it all and I can change who I am and be who I want to be. I "dumped" all the people I was friends with, moved in with David, and started over with no family and no friends to help me but him. After about 1 year after meeting him I began to understand that I am a strong woman and I can handle what ever is thrown at me. I may not like it, may not handle it as well as someone else but I will handle it none the less. Anyone that can live through what I have been through can live through anything. If I can do it so can you.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that even though we all have problems, stress, and illness in our lives we still have to try to make the day the best it can be, to stop trying is not an option!

4/14/10

So yesterday was David and my 8th anniversary. it went really well I think. after work Dave took me to dinner and we had a lot of well wishes from family and friends.
I'm back at work today and I'm training again, so no sales yet today. it's not so bad at least I don't have to deal with customer's today except for a couple of hours. I'm actually lovein' it.
Dave's working late today so I'll be on my own tonight until 2am. I really hate Wednesdays.
I've been having a lot of pain lately...... Like yesterday my left hip was killing me! =( I took med's for it and it didn't help. I'm not sure if it's just a flare up or if it's something else. that's what sucks with this disorder, you never really know unless you go to the Dr. and then the Dr. is looking at you like your a crazy person! well.... LOL =0) anyway, I just dealt with it and it eased off about 4am this morning, it's still sore but manageable.

well, back to work for me........... have a good day, make it great!

~Mel~

3-29-10 another day, another dollar........

Another day, another dollar but I'm almost done. I'm tired of this pain and suffering with the Fibromyalgia, I had to leave work early again today due to feeling like crap. My energy level is just through the floor. All I want to do is sleep but I know I can't. I'm looking for any salvation I can find.
I'm looking into yoga as a means to manage the pain and stiffness. The Dr told me that there's not anything else he can do, I just need to learn to live with it and manage the pain. He increased one of my medications to see if that will help but so far it hasn't.

Even through dealing with Dave's company downsizing his position and my health issues now I have to worry about losing my job due to the health issues. it's more stress on me that I don't need! I'm just fed up with the bull shit! I wish there was something I can do to correct this issue so I wouldn't have to take time off work. I've offered to work extra time to make up the hours and they are always needing help on the weekends but they don't want people to have OT. I wish they would make up their minds: either they want help or not.
I've changed my hours to what times I can work since we only have one car now, but I've offered to work weekends when I can.
I've got a team leader that has WAY to much stress on her right now with her dad having Alzheimer's and trying to keep everyone happy. then we find out that one of our mutual friends has stage 4 liver cancer and she has a 5 month old baby boy!.....
I've got another friend that is having heart issues and not sure whats going on with that, and yet another friend that just found out her husband (with whom she is seperated from) has a 8 month old baby by another woman. There is just too much to take care of. Every one has told me several times that I cant take care of everyone all the time but it's my nature to do that! I want to help everyone I just don't know how....
I guess I just need to take care of myself first and the other stuff if I can and let the rest to take care of it's self.